Sounding Off About Pollution

Alarming and fascinating piece from the Stamford Advocate about pollution in Long Island Sound. Worth a read!

In Memoriam: The Shippan Avenue Duchess

Does anyone out there remember the Duchess Restaurant that used to be on Shippan Avenue?

It was right next to what was the Sunny Daes ice cream shop (which may still be there, I haven’t been back to Stamford since last Christmas, and even then it wasn’t a very long visit) and was replaced by a series of banks. I recall that one of the banks was First County Bank, which Bobby Valentine used to shill for. “First County Bank…your first place for savings and more…”, went their TV ad. What was the “more” part all about? Were they offering to sell me a Big D burger?

A thirty-second Google search did not produce any results about this particular franchise. I forget the exact year it closed, but am fairly certain it was early on in my college days. I’d proffer that this must have been late 2005-early 2006 as my mom recommended I write a story about it for my journalism class at Providence College. Yes, this was important news, even if I was two and a half hours north in Rhode Island and the talk of the town at the time up there was the demolition of the old Jamestown Bridge.

For those of you reading this who haven’t the slightest clue what I’m writing about, Duchess Restaurants are a chain of fast food joints in Connecticut that serve decent food in roughly the same amount of time McDonald’s can dump a steaming pile of stomach fill in a bag for you. Their menu is surprisingly diverse (I remember ordering spaghetti on occasion) and their breads are baked locally. Apparently you can even order online now.

I have a lot of memories from Duchesses all over Fairfield County, but that Shippan Duchess occupies a special place in my heart – that is to say, I remember it fondly and all the hot dogs I enjoyed there over the years are sure to facilitate my upcoming cardiac arrest. It will be worth it; each one was phenomenal. That was the last restaurant I remember smoking a cigarette in with a couple of pals back in high school (not something I wish was still possible, but a memory of how smoking in restaurants used to be a thing), a place where my grandma and her friends would hang out and eat fish during Lent, the place where I ate dinner with my family on September 11 to get out of the house and decompress after a completely insane day. One particular memory from that night sticks with me to this day: a guy sitting by the windows that overlooked Shippan Avnenue, gazing vaguely in the direction of Shippan Point and by extension Manhattan, his expression gripped by a sadness I can symphathize with but never fully comprehend. Did he lose a loved one in the attack? Was he mourning the loss of all of the people who had died that day and feeling the full weight of the aftermath?

There were plenty of happy moments had in that restaurant too. There was the comic relief generated by my grandma yelling at the drive-thru speaker over me from the passengers’ seat that she wanted “LIGHTLY TOASTED RYE BREAD” for her fish sandwich; giving her friends rides there when they were no longer to drive themselves (and my grandma’s friend Helen trying to tip me for chauffering them, much to my grandma’s chagrin). That place had the best hash browns, and they were available all day, unlike the Exit 9 McDonald’s, which stopped serving them at 10 or 11, well before I used to wake up in those days. There was also soup. Where else can you find soup at a fast food restaurant? Panera, sure, if you want to pay $10 for a Dixie cup size serving.

The Shippan Duchess was also outfitted with a fine staff. I may not be recalling this entirely accurately, but I remember there being a middle-aged man with a super kind demeanor who I believe to have been the manager. My mom and grandma would talk to him, and we learned that he had hip surgery (I believe) and ended up having to close the place because of falling revenues (or maybe increased rent? would make sense considering what followed it at that location). The servers were always really nice and many recognized us and remembered little tidbits about our lives. That’s the hallmark of a great small business. A company that isn’t deliberately trying to learn about you to glean information so it can sell you more of its crap but humanizes you by treating you as part of the community. Even more to the point, I don’t suspect it was a calculated measure on their part – just folks being neighborly.

The Shippan Avenue Duchess was a place for friends to gather and enjoy lovingly prepared food. It was a great Stamford business. If you’ve got any memories of it, feel free to share them in the comments section.

Dan D. 9/4/2015

Welcome to StamFART!

If you were a fan of the Stamford Avocado, well, here it is. As of September 2015, the Avocado is now StamFart, a division of PlopCorn Media. All your favorite characters are still here (yes, even Dirk “Turp” Blarkington). Curtis Parvin’s film and pop culture analyses can now be found on the main PlopCorn page. Thanks for visiting and be sure to follow us on Twitter!

New York Mets Make Another Rotation Change

Dan D. – June 12, 2015

Earlier today, Anthony DiComo, the Mets’ beat writer for MLB.com, announced that the team would be starting Dillon Gee on Sunday instead of Noah Syndergaard, thus seemingly returning to the six-man rotation the team was supposed to have abandoned a short time ago.

We at the Avocado are proud to be the first to announce, however, that Mets manager Terry Collins has announced yet another change to his pitching rotation: all 25 men on the major league roster will cycle in and out of starting pitching duties.

“Considering all the injuries to the team lately, we decided that this would be our best option moving forward”, said Bjork J. Schlorp, Terry Collins’ personal assistant. When pressed as to why Collins thought this would be a good idea, Schlorp kept schtum, eventually evading the question by revealing that the team’s skipper has a strict predilection for 2-ply toilet paper.

The Avocado decided to concede that it would never receive a substantial answer to its original question, so we instead decided to ask Bjork why this was. “Well”, Schlorp sighed, “you see, during his contract negotiations, Terry held a hard line about Citi Field’s home clubhouse being fully stocked with three-ply Cottonelle ‘Tender Cheeks’ rolls, infused liberally with aloe vera. He insisted that he and his players receive the finest care possible, considering that 162 times a year they work their butts off to field a great team”.

“Well, the Wilpons, being the cheapskates that they are, told Terry he could ‘take his buttwipes and stuff them in his Pujols’ and told him that they wouldn’t supply anything but 1-ply RuffStuff brand, which, interestingly, is a company Jeff Wilpon has majority stakeholdings in. Terry threatened to walk, at which point the Wilpons realized that if he did, their only option to replace him would be Carl Everett, who currently manages their sub-rookie farm team, the Lake Minnetonka Purifiers. So, they agreed to compromise on two-ply”.

Stunned by this revelation, I thanked Bjork for his time, and went home to type this story out on my Commodore 64. There was no possible way this could have been made up – ‘Cottonelle Tender Cheeks’? It’s just too specific!

Sports Op-Ed: Gee And Niese Gotta Go

By reddit.com/u/metsuup June 5, 2015

Today, the New York Mets sit atop the National League East, a half game ahead of the Washington Nationals, and this die-hard fan of the blue and orange couldn’t be happier. 

Though the Mets have lost two of their last three series, they’ve still gone 6-4 over their last ten games. Matt Harvey is still a Dark Knight rising, Jacob deGrom is still…er…de Best (see what I did there?), and Jeurys Familia is doing a great job closing out games. 

If I’m honest, though, there is something about this team that really bothers me. Well, two things. OK, fine, two people. I’m talking, of course, about Dillon Gee and Jon Niese, the two guys currently pitching for New York who probably couldn’t hit the pink on a flamingo (oh man, this joke was awesome!!!). 

Niese and Gee have not pitched exceptionally well this season. Going into tonight’s game, Niese’s record stands at 3-5 with a 4.42 earned run average. Hitters are batting .304 against him, his WAR is currently -0.6, and his WHIF rate is 32% (WHIF = Wins Hits Innings FLAMINGO! Oh man, this joke never stops being funny). 

I would post Gee’s stats, but seeing as how he is just a stupid asshole and a former disciple of the Church of Pubechin, I’ll refrain. 

I’m usually an expert at figuring out trades that can mutually benefit the Mets and other teams (just ask any of the late-night hosts on WFAN, they all know me by the sound of my voice). Sandy Alderson* has on routine occasion solicited my advice in making moves. I just can’t wrap my mind around this one, though. Who could possibly want these guys? I am not even sure that if we built a time machine and offered them to the 1962 Mets for Roger Craig and Craig Anderson that we would be taken seriously. 

I got into an argument about this with u/missusmet about Niese and Gee. She posited that “they’re two serviceable Major League starters whose track records indicate they’ll finish with respectable records and would be a great asset to any team seeking dependable back-of-the-rotation starters”, but what does she know? Seriously, she’s a woman! For that matter, why did the moderators even let her on the forum? Doesn’t she know it’s a repository of bored, acne-ridden IT workers, armchair GMs, and third-string Monday morning quarterbacks offering sub-Mike Francesca-level analysis guys only?

Stay tuned, for my next article will be an  a desperate, thinly-veiled plea to blow Matt Harvey in-depth look at how Matt Harvey is already one of the greatest athletes of all time! 

*The manager of METS (Metropolitans Eating Tasty Sandwiches) Catering in Flushing. 

EXPERT MLB GAME RECAP: Cardinals 10, Mets 2

May 19, 2015 – Granny D wrote this.

What a hard game to watch. I mean, for me, it was especially confusing, because Danny left my glasses and hearing aid upstairs, so it was a real struggle to figure out what was going on! Here are my biggest takeaways from this match:

– Man, Jon’s niece was terrible tonight, but did she really deserve getting hit eleven times? It’s not nice to hit little girls!

– Is that the Walker Flocker Flame guy the kids are all talking about who pitched for the Cardinals? Hold on, when did Stan Musial stop playing for them??!

– I remember Pete Kozma! I worked with him over at the Yale & Towne Lock Company back in ’39. He must be in great shape to still be playing baseball at his age!

– My grandson isn’t named Curtis! It’s Dan! I think he has a friend named Curtis, though, or maybe it’s Nick. I don’t know, I can’t keep up with all two of them!

– Randal Grichuk? I think I know his mother. She used to come to Sunday service at Holy Name. Nice woman. You know, one time, Fr. Mozieowicziczinski was blessing her Easter egg basket, and her leg just fell off! Well, they had a family history of the C.A. and she had been sick with the smallpox for some time. Wouldn’t you know it, they fixed her up and two weeks later she got Ebola! Kids these days.

"Mad Men" Finale Sparks Heated Debate, Analysis

May 18, 2014 – Dan D. wrote this.

Seven seasons after it burst on to television screens with its engaging characters, imaginatively created sets, and multi-layered symbolism that set fire to a thousand passionate debates among its fans, AMC’s Mad Men aired its last episode Sunday night, tying together many previously disparate threads while leaving a few key yarns unspun.

A day later, fans around the world remained split in their opinion of the finale.

“I was watching MM last night with my Chihuachow and what was up with that final scene? I need closure!!!!” viewer Amy Sandadeckio (@licecreamsandwich) of Chillicothe, OH tweeted to her three followers this morning.

Rob Rockburg (@zenyachtamondatta) of West Greenwich, RI felt differently.

“Brilliant, the way they ended it there. I will never watch another finale again. #IdLikeToBuyTheWorldACoke”

The scene Sandadeckio and Rockburg can’t seem to agree on proceeds as follows: protagonist Dan Shader is told by his doctor, Abe Quackula, that his blood pressure has reached catastrophic heights after engaging in another record-setting shouting match with his brother, Paul, over who would make a better fantasy baseball pick for a left-handed specialist relief pitcher: Alex Torres of the New York Mets or Chasen Shreve of the New York Yankees. The good doctor sends Shader to a mandatory transcendental meditation seminar in Los Pequeno Jerbo, CA, where Shader has a revelation: he’ll instead dupe his brother into trading for Phil Coke of the Chicago Cubs by singing their favorite television jingle together, “I’d Like To Buy the World A Coke“.

The scene was a fittingly weird end to a show that’s chronicled a family’s trials and tribulations with their collective temper. Creator Michael Dingus expressed relief to Variety magazine about the show’s conclusion: “It gets really exhausting having to write scenes with people who are extremely irate that often with each other”, he admitted. “I was very close to bursting a major blood vessel or two throughout the show’s run”.

It’s unclear what the Anger Management Channel will do in the show’s absence, though it’s rumored that Breaking Bile, a documentary about people who have had their gallbladders removed, will be shifted into its time-slot.

Op-Ed: Five Oscar Tidbits of 2015

February 25, 2015 — By: Curtis M. Parvin/my IMDB page

Thanks to Joe Seer on Shutterstock for the image!

1. Lack of Oscar nominations for Nightcrawler (2014) and Inherent Vice (2014)

I watched Nightcrawler on Oscar Sunday and have been sleeping with one eye open since then! Donnie Darko (2001) and Enemy (2013) were just the beginning of Jake Gyllenhaal’s unhinged character evolution. Louis Bloom is the most terrifying role yet, an articulate sociopath with a camera. If crime journalism is a cutthroat business, Bloom is one step away from holding the knife himself. 

Thematically, Dan Gilroy’s debut film was too real for The Academy. Never mind that Nightcrawler is set in Los Angeles, it shares other more discomfiting parallels with the entertainment business. Bloom works his way up the corporate ladder by manipulating the emotions of others. His parasitic success depends on preying on the fears of the general public and their desire for carnage.

Inherent Vice is another film deserving more praise and recognition. My Boogie Nights (1997) review mentions how Vice left audiences scratching their heads.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences must have been equally perplexed. Just imagine a group of aging squares watching an episodic-stoner-art-film and having to evaluate its content. Clear eyed traditionalists were not going to let the longhairs have their moment in the sun this time.

2. John Travolta reconciles with Idina Menzel…in a way:

How could we all forget the “wickedly talented, one and only, Adele Dazeem”? Thanks to Youtube and social media, John Travolta’s botched pronunciation of Idina Menzel’s name is a moment that will live in infamy. So, to to redeem the “Dazeem” debacle, Travolta presented an award with the “Let It Go” singer… Then the touching started.

He wouldn’t let go of her face. You know that Lionel Richie music video for “Hello” where the blind girl keeps fondling a bust of the singer? Yep. What should have been sweet and humorous, turned bizarre quicker than you can say “L. Ron Hubbard.”

3.  Stefani Germanotta shows up to do a Sound of Music (1965) tribute:

Lady Gaga’s more conservative alter-ego sang a medley of tunes from the classic film…and did a stupendous job! Julie Andrews must have thought so too. The “Maria von Trapp” that we all know and love shared an embrace with Stefani after Stef hit every note flawlessly!  Andrews’ approval is good enough for me. I can not be a hater.

The truth is “Gaga” is the persona I can not stand. When Stefani is not trying to be a sensational pop star, she actually has a very strong singing voice. 

I guess I never noticed before, because “Gaga” is always dressed like a ball from Katamari Damacy.

4. Eddie Redmayne swoops in to snatch Michael Keaton’s Oscar:

Ever since Dustin Hoffman took home the gold statue for Rain Man (1988), the Academy has developed a soft spot for portrayals of disabled people — The very next year Daniel Day-Lewis won for My Left Foot, too! Nothing against people who have to overcome ailments, but Keaton deserved to win, hands down. Doesn’t Tinseltown love a good come-back story?

This young kid, Redmayne, has a whole career ahead of him to win an Oscar. You don’t want to peak too soon, Ed. 

Birdman ultimately came out on top though, by winning “Best Picture”.  Michael Keaton can hold his head high because he made that whole film! If the line: “Sixty’s the new thirty, mother f-er!” had any truth to it, I look forward to seeing more daring, introspective work from MK in the future. With his acting chops, he’ll be back on the red carpet soon enough, flapping his wings.

5. Boyhood fans upset with Birdman’s “Best Picture” Win:

Boyhood (2014) is a remarkable cinematic achievement, in that it took 12 years to complete! Try getting actors to commit to a two week short film. You’ll be pulling your hair out looking for talent!

I can understand the disappointment that a film as unique as Boyhood did not earn the Best Picture Academy Award, but all the Birdman bashing is just plain childish. The haters who are calling Iñárritu’s movie shallow and nihilistic have missed the point of their beloved Boyhood. How about growing up yourselves and not dwelling on the negative?!

Birdman winning the highest Academy honor is a wonderful thing! A Mexican director is getting honored by a large group of crusty old white dudes. That is another remarkable achievement! Alejandro is very talented and enjoys what he does. I admire those qualities in anyone.

Having said that…next time, hopefully some more non-white people will take home Oscar gold. They can show the world that passion, humility and truth are what motion pictures are all about.

Welcome My Son, To the Machine: “Boogie Nights” (1997) as Critique of the Modern Hollywood System

February 21, 2015

By: Curtis M. Parvin (check me out on IMDB!)

Image courtesy Wikipedia

Paul Thomas Anderson is a 1990’s savior of cinema! Let the Christians await the arrival of Jesus Christ; film fans have actually seen the second coming of Orson Welles.

You may be asking: “Does P.T. Anderson deserve this veneration?” I mean, he is rumored to have grown up watching pornographic videos at a young age and dropping out of film school in his first week. According to the rumor mill, Anderson passed off some sample script pages written by Pulitzer Prize-winner David Mamet and received an unsatisfactory grade. After that, he closed the books and “hit the bricks” — as Mamet would say.

No professor was going to tell him what he was worth by putting a letter or number on his project. P.T.A. was going to make films his way because of a gut feeling; isn’t that all an artist has, their own instinct about their creative endeavors? Lucky for us, Anderson not only has a rebel heart, but the soul of a profound storyteller.

Now, after that brief introduction — or digression if you feel that way — about the filmmaker, let me share with you the reason I felt compelled to write this review.

Other than this being the final installment in my “Burt Reynolds Trilogy”:

http://stamfordavocado.blogspot.com/2015/01/5-reasons-why-smokey-and-bandit.html

http://stamfordavocado.blogspot.com/2015/02/watching-delieverance-1972-with-henry.html

I returned to Boogie Nights because I saw Anderson’s new picture, Inherent Vice (2014), and was rendered speechless. Vice is a fascinating exercise in experimental filmmaking! What stunned me even more though, were murmurs of walkouts. Many casual moviegoers were saying it was “boring” and “had no plot” etc. These audience reactions caused me to examine, more closely, what the casual moviegoer wants at the multiplex nowadays.

The awful truth is that most people today are lining up around the block to see Michael Bay’s recycling center filmmaking. These movie theater Tweeters want loud noises, mangled robots or women bending over muscle cars. Or, they yearn to see on-screen adaptations of trashy books shooting up the bestseller list — I will never understand the 50 Shades of Grey craze. Fast action, quick cuts, and sex seems to be the formula for success in mainstream cinema.

You see, dear reader, it is possible to write/direct a film about a sexual topic, but there has to be a larger artistic statement being made. Paul Thomas Anderson’s 1997 film,  Boogie Nights is a remarkable achievement! A film school drop-out was able to satirize Hollywood from behind enemy lines. Mr. Anderson took money from the suits and showed them Hollywood is the real pornography, a heartless machine designed to exploit and cash-in on desire.

Mark Wahlberg plays a teenager named Eddie Adams who is seduced into the 1970’s X-rated movie business by director Jack Horner (Burt Reynolds). Adams is not getting much love from his family at home — mother is an abusive alcoholic — so he seeks acceptance from anyone who believes in him. With the support of this surrogate father and the encouragement of Amber Waves (Juilanne Moore), Eddie takes the name “Dirk Diggler” and begins down the road to fame. His star begins to rise, and then…

….1980s home video technology threatens to destroy everything. Jack’s movies get cheaper and edgier. Emotional storytelling is sacrificed for rougher and more exploitative subject matter. The content becomes more misogynistic. The revenue from video sales yields mounds and mounds of blow. Cocaine brings out the beast in everyone using the stuff…”Oh, hi, Hollywood, I didn’t see you there.”

Dirk Diggler becomes the personification of what excess and selling-out has done to the industry. When he falls, he fall hard. He hits rock bottom, shattering the ground that was holding everyone up. Some characters manage to break away from the chaos, like Buck Swope (Don Cheadle), who sets up his own stereo store; for the most part, however, everyone will come face to face with their demons before the credits roll. 

Amber’s choices prevent her from seeing her son. Her drug use and seedy profession have caused her ex-husband to take legal action. Julianne Moore’s performance as the mother looking for a lost child is heartbreaking. I really hope she wins the Oscar this year for Still Alice. She deserves it.

Speaking of the Academy Awards, Boogie Nights was Burt Reynolds’ only Oscar-nominated performance. I’ve always felt he was an underrated actor who could be funny as well as dramatic. He plays Jack Horner as a conflicted man. In order to continue making movies, you have to continue to make that bread. At one point in his life, he probably wanted to be a great artist, but you get more butts in the seats with money shots than crane shots.

For inexplicable reasons, Reynolds didn’t win the statue back in the late ’90s. If you want to know my own conspiracy theory, I’ll let you in on a little secret…

….the Oscars do not like movies that are subversive. Actually, I’m sure The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences didn’t appreciate Paul Thomas Anderson calling Hollywood a money machine that will “let you watch” for a price.

Pornography isn’t always as it appears.

Watching "Deliverance" (1972) with Henry David Thoreau

February 10, 2015

By: Curtis M. Parvin

Thanks to Craigs Stocks Arts on Shutterstock for the image!

Do you ever find yourself awake at night, imagining what it would be like to journey back in time? 

I mean travelling in a phone booth – Bill and Ted style – and taking different historical figures back to the present day? 

What if you landed outside Henry David Thoreau’s serene cabin in Concord, Massachusetts back in the 1800’s?

Cue the dream sequence….

“Mr. Thoreau, I presume? Mr. Henry David Thoreau?”

“Yes”?, he replies hesitantly. “Who — or what — should I say are you?”

“I’m from the future. Step into the box of transport and let me show you life on this planet many years from now.”

Not wanting to pass up the opportunity to travel with a ‘Time Lord’ (Yes, I just called myself that…deal with it), he enters the booth and we blast off into the sky!

We land during a cold New England night on a large mound of snow in my back yard. Poof! I proceed to cover the booth with a tarp in the garage and we retreat from the cold into my basement media room.

“What is that contraption?” Mr. Thoreau asks, pointing at my big-screen television.

“It’s a device which produces magical images on a screen”, I answer.

Intrigued, he takes a seat in a lounge chair.

My guest is fearful at first, thinking the objects are going to burst out of the screen and land on him – similar to the audience who watched The Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat Station, one of the first ever motion pictures – so I start him off slow. I begin his orientation with mellow subject matter: Sunrise Earth, Life and The Living Sea. 

“Extraordinary.” Ol’ Hank is mesmerized by the hi-definition picture quality.

But, those shows can be like a sleeping pill in large doses, so I figure it was time to kick it up a notch.

Wearing a smile like this, I get a Grinch-like ‘wonderful, awful idea’ – I mean, how many times in life do you get a chance to goof on a major literary figure?

So, I pull a film from the shelf that I tell him it’s about men who take a canoe trip outdoors. “Do you want to see it?”

“That sounds wonderful”, he exclaims before I pop John Boorman’s Deliverance into the PS3. 

The great Transcendentalist sits admiring the lake, forests, & all that jazz. He is quite taken with the camaraderie of the four characters – Bobby (Ned Beatty), Drew (Ronny Cox) and Ed (Jon Voight) – but Lewis (Burt Reynolds) stands out to him.

Ol’ Hank is especially entranced by the philosophical leader’s comments about the system failing.

“ ‘You don’t beat this river’, that’s very insightful”, Thoreau says smiling. It reminds me of something I wrote recently: ‘A lake is a landscape’s most beautiful and expressive feature. It is Earth’s eye; looking into which, the beholder measures the depth of his own nature.’ “

We munch popping corn and sip carbonated beverages, eventually approaching the infamous Ned Beatty woods scene.

At that point, the great thinker puts his drink down, stops eating and looks on in horror.

I notice him breathing strangely, so I stop the film. “Oh, my God!”

I rush off to get him a brown paper bag to breath into. “Oh, crap! Oh, crap! Oh, crap! I can’t kill the Walden guy! What would happen to history? Plus, where would I hide a dead Transcendentalist?” I mutter frantically. 

He snatches the bag from me and hyperventilates for ten minutes before calming down.

After a very awkward silence which seems to last an eternity, one of the greatest minds of our species looks at me and says softly: “Is that what human beings have devolved into, in the future?”

I don’t know what to say, so I nervously begin a rambling response:

”In my younger and more adventurous days, I was persuaded to go on a kayaking trip down in Florida. Even being out for a single afternoon, the sights nevertheless resembled the ‘fictional’ images of John Boorman’s Deliverance. And having the foreknowledge about what happened to Ned Beatty’s character, I made sure to stay in the kayak the entire time!”

The words flow like the water from a burst pipe and I keep going on and on, not realizing my story was confusing poor Ol’ Hank even more.

“From the ‘safety’ of my kayak, I was right in the the thick of it. You’ve heard the expression, ‘being up the creek without a paddle’? Well, picture losing a paddle in the middle of Degobah Swamp water, while gators and pregnant teen moms with neck tattoos looked on in amusement. We were almost run over by a speedboat while tacky pink flamingos mocked us from white trash lawns…”

For some reason or other I stop suddenly.

“You know what, Mr. Thoreau…”

“Why don’t we just relax by reading a book instead.”

Curtis M. Parvin makes movies and writes stuff in Rhode Island. You can reach him on Twitter via the above link, or you can look at his IMDB page here. Have a nice day.